i just can't decide

hey there fellas. I've been so busy with work again and now I finally got the chance to tell you about my situation. Well, I never thought of writing more because I could hardly tell anything the experiences I had in a day however just yesterday something happened and I doubt if I could decide on my own. So, I then decided to write and tell you guys what's bothering me. Should you give advices, please feel free to leave your comments of leave a line or two on my shoutbox.

To start with, before I work as a Secretary I had undergone a panel interview and all the hiring process that the institution is implementing. I could still remember one of the questions during the said interview, if i am willing to work for three months for a training to see how efficient I am and etc.." with that, I accepted it because I know that may help me. When you're a contractual your rate is lower than the minimum wage. And just yesterday I accidentally read the evaluation and read the entire content. Well, I am happy with the result. I have an average rate of 4 which is very good. The comment was, "as a beginner, she shows a promise to be a good employee" however, when I read the recommendation it says, "retention for another 3 months.." My gosh! I maybe demanding but I can't take it anymore. I can't afford to stay longer as a contractual considering the lower rate, no uniform, no sure benefit, uncertain future... I know you get what I mean. Honestly, If I don't have obligation in my family I would still stay but with the situation I'm in right now, I can't find a reason to stay longer.. My family needs me most. My papa has no more work, my mama as well..my younger brother is still studying in college, also my second brother and his family are now staying at home. He has no more work, his wife though has a job but her job isn't that stable and so we can't rely to it.

My brother who is a supervisor in a certain company which is known and undeniably has a good foundation asked me to apply to their company because it offers a better salary rate and a better benefits. He have been inviting me for almost 2 months but I just rejected it. But just last night, after thinking of what I've read (the evaluation) I thought of leaving my current work and be employed to their company. He can recommend me, he assures that.. but know what fellas? It isn't easy at all.. I can't tell you guys the whole thing but for your idea of what I'm trying to say, well, My boss is really a good boss. She's very determined and she trust me so much. She was my boss during my college days when I work as a working student. Because of her help, I became a better me. I love her and I appreciate her a lot. And these are the reasons why I can't decide on my own. I don't want to see her adjusting again. I'm afraid I might disappointed her. I don't if I could express to her my point of leaving when I decided to.. oh my..

I'm so occupied with these things. I could hardly decide which way to go. I am motivated by my family's presence. I believe they need me and I am very intense and deeply willing to provide them their needs.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...