It's about our parents..
I was thinking that in reality a certain gap happens not only between us and our own kid but also between US and our own parents. From birth we have lived under their rules. They were the world to us then it happened we grew up.
When we step into another stage of our lives (whether its's career, starting a family or going through a major change...) we often feel that we are independent enough to make our own decisions.
We commonly believe that our parents expects that they should be able to think like we do and when conflicts arise, we test or evaluate them from our own perspective of how an adult should behave.
Imagine a shelf already filled with books. when new books start to arrive, and space has to be made for them on that shelf, what happens? Whether you remove the old books or retain your favorites, still, some books must go. Some of us may have unconsciously likened the old and less favorite books to our own parents..
We sometimes take them for granted, without considering that at their age, they have worries too: health, memory gaps, and even less mobility.. there are a lot of things they can't do anymore. They can look back on their lives, how they fared in their youth, maybe even feel some regret. In all this, whether they admit it or not, they turn to us for comfort.
They may not be the decision makers anymore, but our parents still wish to be heard and acknowledged. If they tend to be tactless and callous, it's because they feel left out. Even in their infirmity, they hope they remain a vital presence in our lives...